Here are some phrases attributed to one of the Technical teachers at my former secondary school:
“Please watch the blackboard whilst I run through it.”
“I’m going out for a second, so I’ll be back in a minute.”
And then there is the all time classic – which you won’t believe and I wouldn’t either if it wasn’t for the fact that I was there when he said it:
“Don’t waste the wood, Macleod, it doesn’t grow on trees.”
I hope he was having a bit of a laugh because, at the time, we were all naïve first years. Otherwise, it’s no wonder I never learned how to do basic woodwork!?!
There was also a joke told about him and his alleged tightness (which also alluded to his strict religious viewpoint):
“And the Lord said unto X, ‘Let there be light.’ So X put a penny in the meter.”